"All grown up with somewhere to go....Part 2"

I blogged about Hannah's first "non-cousin" ( I am aware that isn't actually a term) sleepover so only fitting that I blog about Ethan's very first sleepover away from home. It was with his cousin but all the same a very big deal. He and Jaxie (as we call him -Jaxon) had a big boy sleepover at Jaxon's last weekend. Ethan has been invited several times but always seemed to come up with a reason to stay home.....being that he is three these reasons were often random and hilarious, ie "its not Monday" or "my toys would miss me". This all changed last Saturday he decided he was ready and an invitation had most graciously been extended by Aunt Suzi the night before. Upon opening his eyes that morning it was upon us....and I do mean all of us....he talked incessantly about what they would play, watch, and eat. It was very cute and I am not going to lie....a little frustrating...you see Ethan can't tell time yet (obviously) so getting him to understand later was an all day event. Before he napped he came out with his Elmo pull along backpack and he assured me he had packed all he needed, but just because I am a mom and its what we do- I checked! He had a stuffed animal lamb thing, 6 hotwheels, a batman figure, a bolt, and a tractor.....whew I thought ...all the necessities :)! Underneath all that was a nice outfit for Church the next day and it matched, pajamas, and his toothbrush in a sandwich bag- WHAT I had to look again....could this be??? my child is as OCD as Sammy at age 3??? But upon further questioning it turns out Hannah helped with that part....you know because she has firsthand sleepover experience! The only thing missing... underwear, and when I asked him if he thought he might need clean ones he said in true Ethan fashion "mom you are hilarious". Not sure if that meant yes or no but he packed them. He left with Aunt Suz without hesitation and made it all night and I made it all night....which was shocking to me. Our house was quiet and less chaotic and well.... just not the same. I did get a call about 7am saying Ethan was ready to come home to which I would have jumped up to and ran out the door....had his daddy not already beat me to it!! So he is officially big and we are officially sad!

New Year

Well its that time of year again a time when we reflect on the past year and make a long list of things to do for next year. We don't do resolutions but we do try and learn something from our year prior and bring that lesson forward. So as I was reflecting about this past year....I guess whirlwind is the term that comes to mind. Its not bad just busy is what come to mind. We started the year in Moore and we end in Shawnee and in between we have decided to home school, prayed about becoming missionaries and found our place is here, watched Noah learn to walk, and decided to start a business. The feeling I am mostly left with is tiredness....lol. We have been so blessed but in the midst of blessing I see parts of us still reaching for the "next" and the "after that". Don't get me wrong nothing wrong with wanting more or to grow in this way or the other.....just feel like we could have done more "just living" being present in the day and with the people God puts in our path. Those people could be family, friends, or the lady in front of me at Walmart. There is a lot of freedom in having your eternity sealed up in Christ....freedom to sit still sometimes, freedom to take the time to get to know someone, and freedom to love with abandon others around you. Sometimes even in spite of this freedom...I run from one activity to another with little thought of people or even what I am doing.....but I am checking it off the list. I don't mean to say that we shouldn't keep everything in "eternal perspective" ....on the contrary its because of our eternal perspective we can take a "moment" to breath, love, and live. Grace isn't achieved it was given by Christ and because of this I can let myself and my "to do" list off the hook sometimes and just experience His grace. So this year I hope to sit more, laugh more, take time to take some good pictures w/ my camera and my mind :), breath deep, feel guilt less often, love with abandon, and enjoy the moments with people He brings into my path. 2011 is a year of being present in the now.....because I know where my future is!

"Somewhere Over the Ocean"

This is post if for all those wives and moms who have stayed beind to hold down the fort so to speak, while dad or hubby is away. Sammy returns today from a 10 day mission trip, fingers crossed on time, and we are elated! As the weeks drew closer my feeling of excitement for him was paralleled by this strange feeling of what will we do???? We pulled away, after dropping him at the terminal gate, and after a few tears we immediately began "the schedule". It occurred to me I had planned almost every second of every day he was gone. This is actually funny if you know me because I am not the planner- that hat is worn by Sammy at all times. We felt so blessed and loved on. We had more people want to see us and entertain us than we had days to fill. It did trouble me somewhat that life with Sammy here just happened and life with him away felt like someone elses very fun distraction. So since I had time, between refreshing the "flight status" page over and over again, I began to ponder why this past 10 days had felt different. First, we are a family that does everything together like even the stressful stuff like grocery shopping or long car rides. We are used to dad walking in the door M-F at 5:15 and we just are together. It feels natural and safe. Second, we can call dad whenever we want during the day, and we may do that too much :) sometimes! Who knew the wifi access in Africa is spotty at best? Even when we did talk it felt awkward and impersonal though we were glad to see him. Then, lastly, night time ughh the dreaded night. The kids got sad because they slowed long enough to think about it and I didn't sleep longer than two hours at a time.....maybe because Ethan's toes were in my nose but all the same-NO SLEEP! There are two positive sides to this....the first and most obvious is that my husband got to go half way around the world and shine the light of Christ (well worth any small sacrifice we made), and two we reconnected with friends and family. The daily phone calls, emails, visits, dinner invitations, etc were just heartwarming and comforting. Our heater even broke while Sammy was away and one of my best friend's husbands took care of fixing it. So while Sammy is off loving others he doesn't know-AMAZING- some people here are taking up the slack and loving us! So Biblical and its humbling to me! So while these past ten days have been tough I wouldn't change them for those reasons....I am glad I was here and he was there......even if a part of my heart is still somewhere over the ocean- scheduled to land in Atlanta only 25 min. late :) Hey....I said I wouldn't change it not that I wasn't ready like ummmmmm yesterday for him to come home :) baby steps!

All grown up with somewhere to go....

Well tomorrow we will be the proud parents of a six year old. Its hard to believe really! I still remember that day like it just happened. Hannah was our very own Thanksgiving turkey born early, 5:44 a.m. to be exact, and she was perfect! I still remember thinking she was soooooo tiny as I held her against my chest, and now when she slows down long enough to hold its hard to tell who is holding who. I am so proud of who she had become....this loving, sweet, genuine, girl who loves Jesus! Along with that has come all the growing up too.....like the picking out her own clothes, wanting to brush her own hair, and tonite a first- A SLEEPOVER somewhere other than home or her cousins house! A real dream for a little girl and a reason for me to check my cell phone every 30 min- in secret hopes she will miss me and call :)! She grabbed her new boots, touched up her play make-up, and grabbed her purse stuffed with randomness and out the door she went.....All grown up with somewhere to go! And no call as of yet! Happy Birthday Hannah!

Sour Cream and Banannas

We have been working as a family with the Shawnee Rescue Mission for a while now, and since the day we first volunteered my little boy has been praying daily (and I do mean daily) for the homeless people we have served there. Ethan really has been the only one of the five of us to pray daily. In fact, my husband and I have shared many times how humbled we are by his diligence and faith in his praying for these people. It has really reminded me of the power of faithful prayer. So during these prayers he always prays they receive a home, which over the summer God did provide funding for a shelter-YAY, and then he prays that they could have bananas and sour cream. These are his two favorite foods so that's why the odd combo! Over the summer we had the amazing privilege of telling our two oldest about the shelter, and explaining how God answered this amazing prayer. They were both excited and not at all as surprised as we were, which again challenged my faith. Us big people need to quit acting surprised when God actually answers prayer- Hello He is faithful lol! Well, this morning we went down to our home church and picked up some donations (as we often do) for SRM. Then we headed downtown to drop them off. I got out to meet my helper in unloading and we traded some kind words and caught up a bit and I rattled off what was all in the sacks without much thought and got back in the car. As we are driving away Ethan says "Mom God likes sour cream too". I said, "what buddy"? "Mom, God gave our church a big bowl of sour cream and they gave it to Shawnee Rescue Mission". He had the biggest smile on his face and now I did too! I honestly didn't even think about it until he had said something. I really thought well this is random a whole bunch of sour cream, but it wasn't random at all! It was our amazing Father answering the prayer of His beloved three year old child! I not a betting woman but if I was...I would say bananas are next!

Hot Date

Tonite I have a date with my husband. Oh how I love date nights. In the hustle and bustle of this thing called life its nice just to slow down and take some time. We never do anything "extravagant" and that is fine by me. I really just love to sit next to him in the booth, take longer than 10 minutes to eat, to have conversation without stopping to take someone to the potty, and him seeing me in something other than sweatpants and a t-shirt stained with cheeots. You see before there was this family of five....there was just two people. These two people who kinda fell hard and quick for each other. One quiet and one not so quiet, one practical one impulsive, one disciplined and one free spirit....basically two people created to balance each other out. And when the balance doesn't work we still do cause underneath it all we just like each other. Too easy to forget where things began, but its that place that makes all the other stops on the journey possible. So today, 10 years later, I will wonder what to wear, pray for a good hair day, not feed the kids cheetos ;), and get a little giddy when he puts his hand on my leg. Thanks Sammy for still dating me after all these years! Loving You always!

Nap is a Must

This is so not serious! Sorry for those wanting something more theological or thought provoking, but today right now in this moment it is ever clear to me why I shouldn't let me 3 year old skip nap. We have had an injured toe, he says "my ears going to fall off" after I changed his shirt, then he cried when I asked him if he needs to go to the bathroom. I knew better and still I said yes.....moral to this story weakness breads weakness :)! Just kidding! Moral is go with your gut even when big brown eyes look into your soul and plead "no mama I will be super good". My punishment for this momentary lack of mommy judgement is a cranky boy on an afternoon when leaving this house is a must. We must go to dance, we must run by the store, and we must have a nap next time! Oh well still nice to know he is big and grown in so many ways, and yet little and needy in others. Makes my heart smile a bit.