A Good Dose of Truth

I will spare you all the details...mostly because I am not sure you all are ready for the full picture of how my mind works-SCARY...but I will tell you I am so thankful for TRUTH! This mornig God reminded me of an important TRUTH through a dear fried of mine Rebekah. I was strugglig with some things and really needed to reminded that when my walk with the Lord is right my life will right. Sometimes I get really caught up in decsions, choices, jobs/ministries, life stuff and neglect heart stuff. The Lord is concerned with the condition of my heart not with how busy my hands are. If my heart is right He will establish the work of my hands. I just happened by her house for an unrealated purpose to this and God just spoke to my heart. She was sharing in respect to a trip she had recently been on to N. Africa and about how simple it is to tell of loving Jesus and Jesus loving us. And with every word she spoke it was as if the Lord was uncomplicating what I had seemed to complicate yet again. Love me and love people....love me and love people..is what I heard over and over again. It was freeing...He was freeig me from the legalism and relegion I had began to let take over my thoughts and life. Then the words from John 8:32 found me "Then you will know the TRUTH and the TRUTH will set you free". You see never is walking with Christ bound in leagalism or relgion but in love. I am free from the mundane, the materail, the lie! Free to walk in TRUTH! Life gets foggy and truth can become hard to see but it is there. I would encourage you to have a friend or a close cirle of "truth tellers" in your life so that you are set free! Thank you sweet Rebekah!

What I hope to teach my kids....

Its been a while my blogger family and while I would love to catch everyone up with what has been going on the last three months its just not what I feel like writing about. We have had a crazy three months between sickness and business, but what I want to talk about today is closer to my heart. Anyone who knows me well knows I was born to be a wife and a momma. I wear the badge of mom proudly and devote most of my time to the task. I will say this about the last three months; it has given me some much needed time to think and slow down. Sammy and I believe that every good and bad thing the Lord allows into our lives for a purpose of His glory. That is a really big thought and I spend a lot of time searching through Scripture and pondering its full meaning. And I admit I have yet to scratch the surface of the full meaning of this, but I do know that He uses my life in simple ways to bring Him glory- by being a momma!

The past three months I have been physically unable to busy myself with business, and when I tried He slowed me down by whatever means necessary! I love to be busy and I don't sit well, but during this season the Lord has really impressed on my heart a desire to be so purposeful with what I teach my children. As words like happiness, success, the value of education, kindness, passion, love all flowed through my head none of them seemed to really resonate with what I felt God wanted me impress on them. I did want all those things but the core of what I want them to know is very different. I really want my kids to know God. I have spent more time in the Word the last three months than ever, and I don't tell you this for an accolade but instead to say that a life saturated with the Word is a life burdened to share it. I have had more meaningful and purposeful conversations with my husband and children lately because the Word has saturated my heart (blog post about that soon). As I have been doing a study in Hosea (Chains Falling by Jamy Fisher check it out)I have been completely overwhelmed for the first time with the relentless love of God. When I say overwhelmed I am talking about that feeling that keeps your leg shaking with excitement, or keeps you up at night with your mind running, and the kind of feeling that leaves you wanting to make sure you live in such a way that the people in your influence really understand what you are talking about. So with that feeling on the tips of my fingers and tongue I set about to mother in a way that shows my kiddos they are precious and chosen by God.

Practically this has meant me praying for them ALOT more. We have started memorizing chunks of Scripture, put to motions to help them remember, in an effort to give them Truth with them always! This has meant always loving them to their benefit, which sounds easy but practically it means correcting behavior when it would be more conducive to my schedule to just give in.

The big picture that God has given me is but a Small glimpse of what I am sure He has planned for these three miracles I am entrusted with. At the end of my time as the main influence on their lives I hope they walk away totally in love and in total abandonment to God. My hope isn't for them to be blessed for that will surely come to a life yielded to God, but rather that they desire above themselves to be a blessing.

Whew....that is a big job given to me!! How could I ever not think that what He has for me isn't important. How can I not give Him this too and say use this family for your glory. Use us to bless others generationally and relationally- just use us!! This is what I hope I teach you my beautiful precious children!

So pray for me as this is a bid deal...this parenting thing! I will pray for you and keep me accountable to the Word that I may love and live in a way that these babies know they are loved by the Creator and known by Him...Jeremiah 1:5

A Great Decison

I have made a few, very few, great decisions in my life and one of them occurred a bit over 10 years ago. You see a little over 10 years ago became Mrs. Anwer Ehtisham (that is Sammy for those who don't know his real name). It was a GREAT decision...one of those things you just "know you know". I knew it was right and I felt God in it and it was easy...its those kinds of decisions I am very thankful for.
We celebrated our anniversary in the Mayan Rivera and that was also a great decision :)! This was the first time I had ever left our little ones for that long...and while it was hard....and I knocked Sammy over trying to get back in the door the see them lol...it was a much needed time of uninterrupted talking and laughing, being together, and getting one anothers undivided attention- in short if was perfection!
As I have been thinking about what I most wanted to say about this major milestone a common theme of decisions kept coming up. I mean I could rattle on and on about how wonderful our marriage is and how "perfect" we are for one another and how we never fight and its always easy....I think it better to be real! The truth is that the first decision of "saying yes" was easy and effortless but its the decisions that God has allowed and guided us through since then that have made us "us". Its the times when one of us chose to be the strong one, or when one of us chose to say I am sorry, or the time when we chose to let some trivial disagreement go, or when one of us chose to show up even when we didn't want to that day, or when we chose to like the other one when it was hard, and we chose grace over blame time and time again. I guess I am most proud to say that God has allowed us to make some great choices over the last 10 years....choices apart from Him we wouldn't of made. You see I know that God's plan was for me to be Sammy's wife and for Sammy to be my husband...not because we necessarily perfectly complimented each other or because our love would be effortless...but because it was "best" for me and for him and best to accomplish His kingdom purpose! We have been entrusted these children for a short time and my prayer is always to show them what a marriage rooted and established in the Lord looks like.....it never looks perfect but it is always filled with grace....after all its that extension of Divine grace that makes any and all of the other stuff possible!!
So Sammy: I say thank you for choosing God's will, for choosing me, for choosing strength, and for always choosing grace! I have been challenged to grow spiritually by you daily (and sometimes just been challenged by you lol)! Its been far "better" than "worse" and even in the worse thanks for "choosing" to stick it out! I know that what God has made in us in unbreakable....and I honestly can say that saying yes to you was a great great decision. I love you and like you and can't wait for the next years :)!!

The Loose Tooth

Well this might not truly be "blog worthy" to some but to us it is!!! Last night sweet Hannah Paige lost her first tooth. It had been loose for about two weeks or so now and she was faithfully wiggling it! Well last night it came out. It was quite the family event; Daddy pulled the tooth, Ethan held the plastic bag for the tooth, mom videoed, Noah slept :), and Hannah was a brave girl! She had the best most excited expressions it was so fun!! The video is priceless and so is her now not so "toothy" smile!! When the excitement was over and she drifted off to sleep...Sammy and I having been contracted by the tooth fairy :) tiptoed in and made the trade. As we looked at the small little tooth in the bag...I was reminded of when she first got teeth. She has always been very calm and layed back and about the only sign of teething she ever showed was drool...and lots of it...she would wake up and have a new tooth. I remember that same bright smile and those same excited expressions of every new milestone. Time has allowed me many sweet snap shots of this little miracle girl growing up....and I reminded tonight that all things "kiddo" should be treasured and rejoiced over. So tonight is bittersweet...for I know that there will be many more loose teeth, then it will be first dances, first time at camp, first dates, first heartaches, graduations, college, jobs, marriage, motherhood...okay now I am very sad! Now really its a small tooth, I know, but a big deal all the same and the "first" of many "firsts" to come!!

Summer Sleepovers

Last night my Hannah Paige had yet another sleep over with her cousins...Alli Ann and Bella Boo!! These girls are all very close in age and are always together....which I LOVE!! Yesterday and last night reminded me that they are all getting too big. I overheard a lot of " oh my gosh", "are you for real", and "no way". I also heard a rather lengthy discussion about how Selena Beiber "just doesn't sound right". It was too funny!!! They swam, dressed up, did make up, ate junk, and watched a movie. Then this morning they finally woke up about 9:20 or so...after I was asked more than once to "stop tickling me" and "quit trying to wake me up"....I couldn't resist they were all too cute!! I pray they are always close and remember these fun summer sleep overs!!

Unfamiliar Quiet

I am currently sitting in a very quiet house....there is not a t.v on anywhere and Buzz Lightyear must have made to beyond infinity...so all is still and silent lol! This almost never happens, me all alone at my own home that is. You see tonight Noah Samuel has been snuggled down in his bed for 45 plus minutes and my biggies and hubby left for a late movie (oh the joys of summer and late bedtimes)so that leaves little ole me! I cherish this time and really try to savor it because I know it doesn't come around often :)!! I normally spend the first 15 minutes of it in such shell shock that its actually happening that I accomplish...well nothing. Then I settle in the quiet and just exist for a bit. I am, according to my hubby, a free spirit and a bit spontaneous so I never quite use this time the same way as some would. Sometimes its a hot bath, other times a good book, a meaningless t.v show, a long un-interrupted conversation with a dear friend, painting toenails, painting a bathroom, moving furniture, eating a lot of junk, or the list just goes on. The only constant in this situation is the quiet...ah the quiet. It is a sound that as a mom I don't hear often, but it makes me treasure it all even more. Tonight I find myself in a quiet enough space to listen to the soundtrack of my life....I look and listen to this empty house and can't help but see my babies lounging on this furniture, toys hanging out from the edges of everywhere, laughter and even at times screaming coming from every room at different times. I can hear the sound of the cereal as it falls all over the floor because Ethan didn't realize it was open, and the milk splatter on the tile because the jug was heavier than Hannah thought, and the loud "bonk" of Noah's head on the granite (that just last month he wasn't tall enough to hit) and I feel comforted. All kinds of sounds occur in this house all day long....sometimes Sammy will call during the day and hear the insanity and say "what in the world is that" and I will say "what"...I don't even hear it....like I said its just the sounds of my life...its normal even expected....but tonight in the quiet I am able to hear it all...see it all. Sometimes we need a little quiet to make us appreciate the noise! I guess I am just thankful for both a home bursting with noises of love and family...and also thankful for moments of silence to realize it. Take a minute and just exist in your home and life....and listen...life has a beautiful melody!!

Friends as therapy....

Fair warning this post isn't deep and I doubt it will be "life changing" its really just the reflection of my thankful heart. I am so blessed to have a lot of friends....and I love them each new and old dearly! That being said I have very few "besties" as is the term used today :)! While I really am much like an open book as far as my opinions, choices, etc go there are parts of myself reserved only for the truly brave at heart....the "girls"! I must also before going on say that my ultimate best friend is my hubby....he really knows me in away no one else does...that said he is probably even more thankful for my "besties" than I am!!! These women who I am proud to call my best friends have known me for what feels like a lifetime. We have literally grown up together....we have seen one another through death, life, marriage, divorce, sickness, career change, and every other valley and peak you can think of. We have enough "dirt" on the other to write about 10 best sellers and we all have enough amazing stories to share we could write 10,000 mushy friendship greeting cards (which isn't any of our styles so that won't be happening...lol). These women over the years have worn several hats for me....but two things have remained constant they are always truthful and always love me. Now....we don't always agree but we always support each other! They have shown me loyalty like no other and they have jumped to do my defense time and time again. We have reached a place in our lives were we make time for one another....we may not talk daily (although we usually do) but we pick up right where we left off before. My husband often sends me to them when I have a breakdown and he has pulled out all the stops....he gives that look of "I haven't a clue what to do with you" and that is when I know a gno is a must!! Whether its lunch or dinner (always over Mexican food) or a nice long conversation...I always leave feeling better....having laughed, cried, laughed again! These women have been my therapy! I am blessed to walk through this life with them....they make me feel like being me (flaws and all) is ok and more than that is what they most love about me. I am proud to call them my friends...really my sisters! So call your friend, text, post on fb, whatever say how lucky you know you are and treasure free therapy :)!!