" A Thankful Heart"

I am the worst, and I do mean the worst, at forgetting to "count my blessings" as they say. Most times it takes something viewed in contrast to my own situation to remind me how much God has blessed me. This really saddens me this morning. If I want to think in terms of comparison it should be in terms of what God has done for me and what I deserve. That is simple....God gave me life through Christ Jesus when what I deserve is eternal wrath for my sin. People don't really like to think of it this way because it makes God really big, a little scary, and very powerful....well guess what He is and we didn't make Him anything. But for every bit of power there is also grace, mercy, and love. Just sitting here thinking about Him sending His son to die for me....I mean just take a second and stop what you are doing and think.....you are breathing, you are thinking, you have a body with senses, created for what??? Its amazing it will humble you very quickly to think of creation and then stop and think about salvation in Christ. I could never do what He did and yet I forget so easily that I draw breath and that my tomorrow is possible because of Him, that me and my children and Sammy have an eternity that this earth can't touch. Its so easy to forget even tangible touchable blessings.....like being a mom, or having a home, or your health, but what about the blessing of drawing a breath this morning or the promise of living forever in heaven with your Creator......hard to wrap my head around but no doubt leaves me knowing I am here to somehow be used for His glory as a wife, mom, friend, stranger.....and leaves me thankful!
Phil 4:4 Rejoice today......He has breathed life into us and given us all we need for life

"All grown up with somewhere to go....Part 2"

I blogged about Hannah's first "non-cousin" ( I am aware that isn't actually a term) sleepover so only fitting that I blog about Ethan's very first sleepover away from home. It was with his cousin but all the same a very big deal. He and Jaxie (as we call him -Jaxon) had a big boy sleepover at Jaxon's last weekend. Ethan has been invited several times but always seemed to come up with a reason to stay home.....being that he is three these reasons were often random and hilarious, ie "its not Monday" or "my toys would miss me". This all changed last Saturday he decided he was ready and an invitation had most graciously been extended by Aunt Suzi the night before. Upon opening his eyes that morning it was upon us....and I do mean all of us....he talked incessantly about what they would play, watch, and eat. It was very cute and I am not going to lie....a little frustrating...you see Ethan can't tell time yet (obviously) so getting him to understand later was an all day event. Before he napped he came out with his Elmo pull along backpack and he assured me he had packed all he needed, but just because I am a mom and its what we do- I checked! He had a stuffed animal lamb thing, 6 hotwheels, a batman figure, a bolt, and a tractor.....whew I thought ...all the necessities :)! Underneath all that was a nice outfit for Church the next day and it matched, pajamas, and his toothbrush in a sandwich bag- WHAT I had to look again....could this be??? my child is as OCD as Sammy at age 3??? But upon further questioning it turns out Hannah helped with that part....you know because she has firsthand sleepover experience! The only thing missing... underwear, and when I asked him if he thought he might need clean ones he said in true Ethan fashion "mom you are hilarious". Not sure if that meant yes or no but he packed them. He left with Aunt Suz without hesitation and made it all night and I made it all night....which was shocking to me. Our house was quiet and less chaotic and well.... just not the same. I did get a call about 7am saying Ethan was ready to come home to which I would have jumped up to and ran out the door....had his daddy not already beat me to it!! So he is officially big and we are officially sad!

New Year

Well its that time of year again a time when we reflect on the past year and make a long list of things to do for next year. We don't do resolutions but we do try and learn something from our year prior and bring that lesson forward. So as I was reflecting about this past year....I guess whirlwind is the term that comes to mind. Its not bad just busy is what come to mind. We started the year in Moore and we end in Shawnee and in between we have decided to home school, prayed about becoming missionaries and found our place is here, watched Noah learn to walk, and decided to start a business. The feeling I am mostly left with is tiredness....lol. We have been so blessed but in the midst of blessing I see parts of us still reaching for the "next" and the "after that". Don't get me wrong nothing wrong with wanting more or to grow in this way or the other.....just feel like we could have done more "just living" being present in the day and with the people God puts in our path. Those people could be family, friends, or the lady in front of me at Walmart. There is a lot of freedom in having your eternity sealed up in Christ....freedom to sit still sometimes, freedom to take the time to get to know someone, and freedom to love with abandon others around you. Sometimes even in spite of this freedom...I run from one activity to another with little thought of people or even what I am doing.....but I am checking it off the list. I don't mean to say that we shouldn't keep everything in "eternal perspective" ....on the contrary its because of our eternal perspective we can take a "moment" to breath, love, and live. Grace isn't achieved it was given by Christ and because of this I can let myself and my "to do" list off the hook sometimes and just experience His grace. So this year I hope to sit more, laugh more, take time to take some good pictures w/ my camera and my mind :), breath deep, feel guilt less often, love with abandon, and enjoy the moments with people He brings into my path. 2011 is a year of being present in the now.....because I know where my future is!