"Somewhere Over the Ocean"

This is post if for all those wives and moms who have stayed beind to hold down the fort so to speak, while dad or hubby is away. Sammy returns today from a 10 day mission trip, fingers crossed on time, and we are elated! As the weeks drew closer my feeling of excitement for him was paralleled by this strange feeling of what will we do???? We pulled away, after dropping him at the terminal gate, and after a few tears we immediately began "the schedule". It occurred to me I had planned almost every second of every day he was gone. This is actually funny if you know me because I am not the planner- that hat is worn by Sammy at all times. We felt so blessed and loved on. We had more people want to see us and entertain us than we had days to fill. It did trouble me somewhat that life with Sammy here just happened and life with him away felt like someone elses very fun distraction. So since I had time, between refreshing the "flight status" page over and over again, I began to ponder why this past 10 days had felt different. First, we are a family that does everything together like even the stressful stuff like grocery shopping or long car rides. We are used to dad walking in the door M-F at 5:15 and we just are together. It feels natural and safe. Second, we can call dad whenever we want during the day, and we may do that too much :) sometimes! Who knew the wifi access in Africa is spotty at best? Even when we did talk it felt awkward and impersonal though we were glad to see him. Then, lastly, night time ughh the dreaded night. The kids got sad because they slowed long enough to think about it and I didn't sleep longer than two hours at a time.....maybe because Ethan's toes were in my nose but all the same-NO SLEEP! There are two positive sides to this....the first and most obvious is that my husband got to go half way around the world and shine the light of Christ (well worth any small sacrifice we made), and two we reconnected with friends and family. The daily phone calls, emails, visits, dinner invitations, etc were just heartwarming and comforting. Our heater even broke while Sammy was away and one of my best friend's husbands took care of fixing it. So while Sammy is off loving others he doesn't know-AMAZING- some people here are taking up the slack and loving us! So Biblical and its humbling to me! So while these past ten days have been tough I wouldn't change them for those reasons....I am glad I was here and he was there......even if a part of my heart is still somewhere over the ocean- scheduled to land in Atlanta only 25 min. late :) Hey....I said I wouldn't change it not that I wasn't ready like ummmmmm yesterday for him to come home :) baby steps!

All grown up with somewhere to go....

Well tomorrow we will be the proud parents of a six year old. Its hard to believe really! I still remember that day like it just happened. Hannah was our very own Thanksgiving turkey born early, 5:44 a.m. to be exact, and she was perfect! I still remember thinking she was soooooo tiny as I held her against my chest, and now when she slows down long enough to hold its hard to tell who is holding who. I am so proud of who she had become....this loving, sweet, genuine, girl who loves Jesus! Along with that has come all the growing up too.....like the picking out her own clothes, wanting to brush her own hair, and tonite a first- A SLEEPOVER somewhere other than home or her cousins house! A real dream for a little girl and a reason for me to check my cell phone every 30 min- in secret hopes she will miss me and call :)! She grabbed her new boots, touched up her play make-up, and grabbed her purse stuffed with randomness and out the door she went.....All grown up with somewhere to go! And no call as of yet! Happy Birthday Hannah!

Sour Cream and Banannas

We have been working as a family with the Shawnee Rescue Mission for a while now, and since the day we first volunteered my little boy has been praying daily (and I do mean daily) for the homeless people we have served there. Ethan really has been the only one of the five of us to pray daily. In fact, my husband and I have shared many times how humbled we are by his diligence and faith in his praying for these people. It has really reminded me of the power of faithful prayer. So during these prayers he always prays they receive a home, which over the summer God did provide funding for a shelter-YAY, and then he prays that they could have bananas and sour cream. These are his two favorite foods so that's why the odd combo! Over the summer we had the amazing privilege of telling our two oldest about the shelter, and explaining how God answered this amazing prayer. They were both excited and not at all as surprised as we were, which again challenged my faith. Us big people need to quit acting surprised when God actually answers prayer- Hello He is faithful lol! Well, this morning we went down to our home church and picked up some donations (as we often do) for SRM. Then we headed downtown to drop them off. I got out to meet my helper in unloading and we traded some kind words and caught up a bit and I rattled off what was all in the sacks without much thought and got back in the car. As we are driving away Ethan says "Mom God likes sour cream too". I said, "what buddy"? "Mom, God gave our church a big bowl of sour cream and they gave it to Shawnee Rescue Mission". He had the biggest smile on his face and now I did too! I honestly didn't even think about it until he had said something. I really thought well this is random a whole bunch of sour cream, but it wasn't random at all! It was our amazing Father answering the prayer of His beloved three year old child! I not a betting woman but if I was...I would say bananas are next!

Hot Date

Tonite I have a date with my husband. Oh how I love date nights. In the hustle and bustle of this thing called life its nice just to slow down and take some time. We never do anything "extravagant" and that is fine by me. I really just love to sit next to him in the booth, take longer than 10 minutes to eat, to have conversation without stopping to take someone to the potty, and him seeing me in something other than sweatpants and a t-shirt stained with cheeots. You see before there was this family of five....there was just two people. These two people who kinda fell hard and quick for each other. One quiet and one not so quiet, one practical one impulsive, one disciplined and one free spirit....basically two people created to balance each other out. And when the balance doesn't work we still do cause underneath it all we just like each other. Too easy to forget where things began, but its that place that makes all the other stops on the journey possible. So today, 10 years later, I will wonder what to wear, pray for a good hair day, not feed the kids cheetos ;), and get a little giddy when he puts his hand on my leg. Thanks Sammy for still dating me after all these years! Loving You always!

Nap is a Must

This is so not serious! Sorry for those wanting something more theological or thought provoking, but today right now in this moment it is ever clear to me why I shouldn't let me 3 year old skip nap. We have had an injured toe, he says "my ears going to fall off" after I changed his shirt, then he cried when I asked him if he needs to go to the bathroom. I knew better and still I said yes.....moral to this story weakness breads weakness :)! Just kidding! Moral is go with your gut even when big brown eyes look into your soul and plead "no mama I will be super good". My punishment for this momentary lack of mommy judgement is a cranky boy on an afternoon when leaving this house is a must. We must go to dance, we must run by the store, and we must have a nap next time! Oh well still nice to know he is big and grown in so many ways, and yet little and needy in others. Makes my heart smile a bit.

A 3rd Arm

This morning my kids were making wishes.....you know the usual I wish I could fly, I wish I had a bathtub full of ice cream, and of course I wish I had all the candy in the world waaaahhhhaaaahaaaaaa (scary laugh). Then my kiddos asked me mommy what do you wish for hmmmmm. The thought of world peace, an end to hunger, everyone coming to Christ, while all great things to wish for- didn't instantly pop in my mind. Instead amidst throwing away a poopy diaper with a fussy baby tugging at my leg, then pouring Ethan's second cup of milk, while washing Hannah's strawberries, all while running to grab the phone before I miss a call and have to answer a voicemail.....I blurt our a third arm that is what I want! I of course missed the phone call and turned to see them looking at me like I was crazy.....and Ethan says mom that's just weird! A woman can dream :)!

The role of child, wife, and mom!

Sometimes I am crazy....well a lot of times I am crazy....I have these crazy moments where I tend to lose focus on what and who really matters. These moments always have one common denominator....lack of intimacy with God. Sometimes I can mean so well and yet fail so badly with my quiet time, my Bible study, my time with my husband and my kids. The origin of this last moment began oddly enough with me thinking I wasn't "enough" I was just a wife and a mom. I don't serve enough, I don't work outside the home, I don't have enough stuff, I don't do enough "big" stuff. You know what I mean....as if being a wife and a mom aren't enough. The good news in this is I have a gracious heavenly Father and a gracious earthly husband. They love me and bear with me through the craziness. God reminds me I am fearfully and wonderfully made and as the workmanship of His hands I have been designed for good works already decided upon by Him.....for instance as Sammy's wife and my kiddos momma! I am a child of God, a help-mate for my hubby, a home-schooling momma, and on top of this He blesses me with moments in the middle to love people for His glory. All and all not a bad role to play! Thanks Lord for my small spot in this larger thing that is and should be all about YOU!

A Good Dose of Conviction or Guilt?

Am I the only woman who at times struggles with question of" is the guilt or conviction?" I know that God doesn't deal in guilt and the world would like nothing more than to make me question my convictions. Its hard today to remain in the world and not of it. I feel like everyday some little choice presents itself and I think well seems innocent enough, but what does that lead to. It could be anything from parenting, to my marriage, to a friendship, or an activity. If I am not careful to say no enough and yes enough ;I find myself either signed up for everything all the time, or doing nothing and wondering why???? I love the idea of a scale so I can throw all the stuff on it and make sure its weighted evenly, and maybe just maybe I have that. I have felt over the past few months, especially in light of home school, that getting us out and involved is a must. While, I have enjoyed the activities it has left me with tired kiddos and a tired momma, and a daddy going "what....and well just tell me what time to be there". Sad really! The time we have been at home has been enjoyable but not as quality as I would have liked. I really have been praying that service, activities, and commitments could be about glorifying God and not making us busier. I have also been praying to be able to sort out the guilt from others and the conviction from God. Along with saying "sorry I can't" sometimes comes some disappointment which I hate to do "disappoint" others, but that can't be a reason to stay so busy. Life schedules itself if you aren't careful....and then you look around and go now wait what do we believe, what do we feel about family, how do we love others....we really forget the great "why" of it all. So things I am holding to....God's convictions on my heart about meaningful family time, loving others as ourselves, and taking time to love Him first. The guilt will have to wait.....just a little thought for today! Stop and ask "why" make sure it lines up with the plan God has for you and your family....if not say no and be ok about it! Trying to take my own advice :)!

Love and Pray

We have been serving and working with the Shawnee Rescue Mission since about February of last year or so....and whenever we go I leave different. They serve lunch to the homeless and impoverished weekly on Weds. and its been tough for us to attend. Either sick kiddo, home school goes long, or we just don't go....but when we do we leave different. Not just me the kids too. I have never sat them down and said "we are going to serve the homeless today...." we just went and I let them ask questions as they wanted to. Little by little they have grown to really love these people. They may not know their names or their story but they love them and even look forward to seeing them. The cool thing is my kids haven't ever asked me well why is so and so homeless....or what is wrong with so and so that they don't have money or fill in the blank.....they just pray for the God to bless these people and for them to have homes and food. It occurred to me that its their innocence that allows that kind of love-unconditional. I am envious, while I try- still questions go through my head of why this or that....and a hint of skepticism still inhibits my serving with my whole heart. I don't think Jesus cared why someone was where they were He just loved them.
The second thing I notice about my kids when they leave these lunches is they aren't brainstorming up ways to "fix" the problem relying only on themselves. They just love and pray. I leave after hearing about people getting kicked out of a bathroom downtown they were sleeping in, planning ways to get them on housing and trying to see if I can rent them a motel for a night and on and on....they love and pray. Service is good and requires action....I just hope my service for the kingdom and for these people comes from a place of love and prayer. It a simple formula love, pray, and then wait on God....then serve with talents He has given to the joy of others. My kids get this....me not so much. Love, pray, and let God fix.....my plan from now on!

Sometimes its just the simple things that make us smile the most. Playing in a fountain when we are little or messing with this picture on piknic at 11:30 at night snuggled in my warm bed with my husband fast asleep next to me, and my children asleep. Its nice the sound a quiet house makes if I slow down long enough to listen. My new theme for my prayer journal is thankfulness......today I am thankful for humility and when I am humbled by the simple things it leaves me amazed! Take a moment and just enjoy simplicity today!

Welcome Fall

Woke up to a balmy 50 degrees this morning and loved it. Makes me want to bake a pie, maybe some chili, and watch football. Those things in combination may not be good for the waistline but the fashion for fall is forgiving. We are planning a trip to the pumpkin patch and corn maze...in fact Ethan has been building mazes with blocks ever since then. Also, along with fall has come germs. We have all had colds and allergies but the newest bug to set up camp has been the stomach bug. So far he has stuck to Noah only. Poor baby isn't sure what to make of it all but he is hanging in there. We own stock in Lysol after last flu season so disinfecting is no biggie. Life has begun to slow a bit and a routine has begun to emerge from summer. Home school is tough but rewarding. Seems like a good time to relax, smile, and enjoy the simple things in life! Happy fall to all!

Summer Fun

Well we have been super busy but when it come time to recount the things we have been doing seems the specifics escape me! Life just keeps us moving...I am ready for a slow down. We are trying to make an effort to be home more just "being" together...so we shall see. So lets start with kiddo info:
Hannah: Well Hannah is very excited about home school and when we got all her stuff in she wanted to start right away. She has enjoyed lots of swimming this summer and has learned to swim. We are very proud and so is she. She jumps off the diving board and swims to the ladder and she swims underwater really well. She has been having fun with day trips to the zoo, spending the nights with cousins, and playing at church. She has been going through her workbook "I am A Christian Now" and she is loving it. She has learned a lot and is enjoying growing in God.She has a real heart for service and has been helping clean the children's area at church and she is serving the homeless as Shawnee Rescue Mission. She has the sweetest soul and she loves her family! I am just not sure I could have hand picked a kinder kiddo!

Ethan: He is great growing like a week. He has lost all his baby rolls and is tall and skinny. Still the family comedian and he is always into something. He has really become a great big brother to Noah and doesn't even mind sharing his transformers, which is big!! He too is excited about home school and he wants to start now...I hope the excitement lasts:)! He has enjoyed this summer too the fireworks from the fourth were a big hit and the family reunion in Kansas sparked a fire in Ethan we hadn't seen! We had a dance there and he is normally so shy with strangers we didn't assume he would participate....boy were we wrong he was break dancing, doing the robot, and some Ethan originals that I am not sure have been named yet!! He is really coming out of his shell and turning into quite the talker(wonder where he gets that). He is our little prayer warrior many times a day we stop what we are doing and pray for well....you name it boo-boos, ants we killed, people, and weather. He loves to pray and I am so thankful for that!

Noah: Well Mr. Noah is now 8mth and moving all around. I would say sort of crawling and rolling and scooting combined. He loves to stand-up! He is enjoying getting to try new foods and has loved everything we have given him. He, of course, said "da da" first! Sammy is very excited and I let him have that...since we really know I am still the favorite lol!! He is still sleeping very well and down to just two naps a day a morning and his long three hour afternoon nap. He goes to the doctor next month for his 9 month check up-YAY! At six months he weighed 18.8 lbs and was 26 and 1/4 inches so I am excited to see how big he is now! He made his first road trip to Kansas wonderfully! He slept and played most of it! He liked dancing too!

Sammy and I: Well we are just great! I so enjoyed having Sammy home for vacation last week and just being with him everyday...I could get used to that! He went back to work this week, and I am so thankful he has a wonderful job, but I sure do miss him! We are excited about a class we are leading at church in the fall over the book "Crazy Love". We love this book and it has helped us become crazy in love with Jesus! It has been wonderful these past few months to see him take our lives closer to Him. We have enjoyed reading the Word together and its brought us even closer. We feel like God is really moving us to a more service and ministry focused life and I am really excited about that path!
Sammy also learned to swim this summer and I am so proud of him. This is something he has always wanted to do...but pride kept putting it off. He went with his sister and they both are little fish now!! He too jumps off the diving board, swims above, under, and every which way!!

That is really about all we have going on just focused on God and family. Trying to slow down and not get caught in the hectic undertow of life! We are just simply loving and living!

Icky Sicky

Well tonight I am tired and smell of Lysol! This is a marked improvement from the smell of spit-up from Noah and flem from Ethan that I reaked of earlier! TMI you say well I am functioning on little energy so no filter...this could get interesting! We have all shared this fever, snot, cough, and more snot business for over a week now! I am over it and thankfully I think its coming to an end. Ethan, as usual, had it worse than anyone else! If there is something to catch he will get it and keep it for a while! Its interesting that he can keep up w/ germs and lose spiderman! Its amazing to me how much more calm you become with each child. Never would we have let Hannah have a fever and "let it run its course". I offered to put Dr. Koons on our family calling plan when she was a baby! Now by child three it just easy going. I remember once when Hannah was a toddler she got some of the car washing water in her mouth. She was really trying to help Sammy with the car, and he was so excited and then terrified!!! He wanted to call poison control because she could have ingested brake dust or something! Too funny!! Now the boys well lets just say they have tried all kinds of new found things to eat, drink, and ingest! Kind of nice being calmer...kind of weird for those of you who know me! Well off I go to the next task and talk to you all soon! I hope the next time it will be from a vantage point of wellness and smiles! Night all!

Just an Update

Well its been a while! Since the last post much has happened in our little family. We have moved back home and we love it. You really don't realize how much you love a community until you leave it. We feel most at home in Shawnee and we love being back. I will say this though, God really taught us about joy in all circumstances. What else?

Well, Noah is six months old. He is sitting up, rolling, scooting, and threatening a crawl at any time. The idea of three mobile is a bit scary, exciting, and sad. Noah is laid back just up for whatever and happy most all the time. He is a smushed together version of Hannah and Ethan, and I think he looks the most like me.

Ethan Randall just turned three and he is a big boy now! He loves boy stuff of all kinds; dirt, bikes, bugs, junk food, and jumping off stuff! He gives me a run for my money daily and keeps my prayer life very active and for that I am thankful! He is passionate to the utmost and loves his family!

Hannah Paige is still as sweet as ever and loving the Lord. She accepted Jesus on the fourteenth of April, and to quote her "He has changed my whole life"! She is on fire! She tells everyone she can about the Lord and its been the greatest delight of our parenting journey so far to see her grow in the Lord!

Sammy and I have been a changin', as they say! We started praying to live a life that is in total submission to Jesus and all the way pleasing to Him! He has taken us on quite a journey of falling out of love with ourselves and more in love with Him! He has given us a stronger marriage and more joy in this process than we have ever known. We are excited to see what is next and so glad He popped our bubble.

Next.....well I guess other big stuff is that God has opened our eyes to the homeless. Man o man there are some people hurting all over this place. In our community 69% percent live below the poverty line and we have some major needs for housing in Shawnee. I thank God daily he opened our eyes to this. We have been partnering with Shawnee Rescue Mission to minister to these sweet people. If you are reading this please pray for this organization and the people we minister to. We need it! We have some fundraising to get underway to receive funding from a matching grant and I feel God working already! These sweet people who by our standards have nothing have taught me generosity like I have never known, and loyalty to friendships like I have only dreamed of. God's blessing to us through our service is amazing!

Last and final we have made a decision on school (drumroll please) its the Ehtisham Academy. Homeschool it is! Those of you who know us know we have been back and forth and pretty much undecided. Well, after much thoughtful prayer, the Lord has called us to this! We are nervous and feeling inadequate in our flesh, but our spirits our encouraged! By "we" I mean me, as usual Sammy's faith far exceeds my own and he has completely given this to God and is expecting great blessings. I am chugging along and praying a lot! Prayers for this would be great too!!!

Read something pretty cool the other day and I am going to share it now!
"We waste our lives when we do not pray and think and dream and work toward magnifying God in all spheres of life." John Piper

This is my hope with this blog, and all else I do, to glorify Him! There is joy in a life in Him and my prayer is every part of life is evident of His presence! Thanks for reading ! Be blessed!!

To Blog or not to Blog

Well that is the question....to blog or not to blog? I guess I have been inspired by following several blogs of my girlfriends...and some I just happened upon...so here I am. Disclaimer: Mother of three therefore grammer and spelling are second thoughts at best for me! So I would love to blog some great news about my kiddos or catch you up our crazy life...but wouldn't you know Noah is crying in his crib and should take priority! lol More to come soon!