A 3rd Arm

This morning my kids were making wishes.....you know the usual I wish I could fly, I wish I had a bathtub full of ice cream, and of course I wish I had all the candy in the world waaaahhhhaaaahaaaaaa (scary laugh). Then my kiddos asked me mommy what do you wish for hmmmmm. The thought of world peace, an end to hunger, everyone coming to Christ, while all great things to wish for- didn't instantly pop in my mind. Instead amidst throwing away a poopy diaper with a fussy baby tugging at my leg, then pouring Ethan's second cup of milk, while washing Hannah's strawberries, all while running to grab the phone before I miss a call and have to answer a voicemail.....I blurt our a third arm that is what I want! I of course missed the phone call and turned to see them looking at me like I was crazy.....and Ethan says mom that's just weird! A woman can dream :)!

The role of child, wife, and mom!

Sometimes I am crazy....well a lot of times I am crazy....I have these crazy moments where I tend to lose focus on what and who really matters. These moments always have one common denominator....lack of intimacy with God. Sometimes I can mean so well and yet fail so badly with my quiet time, my Bible study, my time with my husband and my kids. The origin of this last moment began oddly enough with me thinking I wasn't "enough" I was just a wife and a mom. I don't serve enough, I don't work outside the home, I don't have enough stuff, I don't do enough "big" stuff. You know what I mean....as if being a wife and a mom aren't enough. The good news in this is I have a gracious heavenly Father and a gracious earthly husband. They love me and bear with me through the craziness. God reminds me I am fearfully and wonderfully made and as the workmanship of His hands I have been designed for good works already decided upon by Him.....for instance as Sammy's wife and my kiddos momma! I am a child of God, a help-mate for my hubby, a home-schooling momma, and on top of this He blesses me with moments in the middle to love people for His glory. All and all not a bad role to play! Thanks Lord for my small spot in this larger thing that is and should be all about YOU!

A Good Dose of Conviction or Guilt?

Am I the only woman who at times struggles with question of" is the guilt or conviction?" I know that God doesn't deal in guilt and the world would like nothing more than to make me question my convictions. Its hard today to remain in the world and not of it. I feel like everyday some little choice presents itself and I think well seems innocent enough, but what does that lead to. It could be anything from parenting, to my marriage, to a friendship, or an activity. If I am not careful to say no enough and yes enough ;I find myself either signed up for everything all the time, or doing nothing and wondering why???? I love the idea of a scale so I can throw all the stuff on it and make sure its weighted evenly, and maybe just maybe I have that. I have felt over the past few months, especially in light of home school, that getting us out and involved is a must. While, I have enjoyed the activities it has left me with tired kiddos and a tired momma, and a daddy going "what....and well just tell me what time to be there". Sad really! The time we have been at home has been enjoyable but not as quality as I would have liked. I really have been praying that service, activities, and commitments could be about glorifying God and not making us busier. I have also been praying to be able to sort out the guilt from others and the conviction from God. Along with saying "sorry I can't" sometimes comes some disappointment which I hate to do "disappoint" others, but that can't be a reason to stay so busy. Life schedules itself if you aren't careful....and then you look around and go now wait what do we believe, what do we feel about family, how do we love others....we really forget the great "why" of it all. So things I am holding to....God's convictions on my heart about meaningful family time, loving others as ourselves, and taking time to love Him first. The guilt will have to wait.....just a little thought for today! Stop and ask "why" make sure it lines up with the plan God has for you and your family....if not say no and be ok about it! Trying to take my own advice :)!

Love and Pray

We have been serving and working with the Shawnee Rescue Mission since about February of last year or so....and whenever we go I leave different. They serve lunch to the homeless and impoverished weekly on Weds. and its been tough for us to attend. Either sick kiddo, home school goes long, or we just don't go....but when we do we leave different. Not just me the kids too. I have never sat them down and said "we are going to serve the homeless today...." we just went and I let them ask questions as they wanted to. Little by little they have grown to really love these people. They may not know their names or their story but they love them and even look forward to seeing them. The cool thing is my kids haven't ever asked me well why is so and so homeless....or what is wrong with so and so that they don't have money or fill in the blank.....they just pray for the God to bless these people and for them to have homes and food. It occurred to me that its their innocence that allows that kind of love-unconditional. I am envious, while I try- still questions go through my head of why this or that....and a hint of skepticism still inhibits my serving with my whole heart. I don't think Jesus cared why someone was where they were He just loved them.
The second thing I notice about my kids when they leave these lunches is they aren't brainstorming up ways to "fix" the problem relying only on themselves. They just love and pray. I leave after hearing about people getting kicked out of a bathroom downtown they were sleeping in, planning ways to get them on housing and trying to see if I can rent them a motel for a night and on and on....they love and pray. Service is good and requires action....I just hope my service for the kingdom and for these people comes from a place of love and prayer. It a simple formula love, pray, and then wait on God....then serve with talents He has given to the joy of others. My kids get this....me not so much. Love, pray, and let God fix.....my plan from now on!