Love keeps no record of wrongs.....this section of Chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians is really convicting me today. This morning started really great and then about mid-morning we had some issues. Somewhere in between Language Arts and Math we all decided to put on our old flesh. Ethan decided he didn't want to read, Hannah decided to rush through her writing in hopes I wouldn't notice,and Noah decided to scream at everyone within earshot, and all went downhill from there. All during this time I was checking on friends who were having surgery, sick family members, and canceling a trip to Omaha at the end of the week. It was a whirlwind of details to be ironed out, worry to fall victim to, and the pressure of the looming deadlines of life today- so I was a bit stressed :)! On a side note, my last post is somewhat ironic since this day isn't slow and mundane...oh how I love God's sense of humor. Anyway, my mind was frazzled and distracted and I basically began making a big old mountain out of a few mole hills my kiddos had created.
I started ,what was arguably one of my best lectures to date, in true "mom with the never ending memory' fashion. I laid out the case clearly, concisely and complete with specific examples. I had dates and details to contribute my case against my children. As I went on and on about heart change= behavior change....and how we must stay connected to God because apart from Him we can't do this....I heard Him. I could feel the Lord saying all these things to me. I could feel Him lovingly tell me to be quiet and stop. Instantly I was comforted with His words..."love keeps no record of wrongs".
He has no memory of my sins. They are gone- dead- nailed to a cross. When He sees me He sees Christ's righteousness transferred to me via the cross. As far as the east is from the west is how far He has removed my mess ups. He has no back-up, thumb drive, hard drive, archive, of my sin- its gone. The way He loves me leaves no record for my sin.
Right there in this moment with my kiddos He was there. So I stopped and looked into there glassy, teary, and confused little eyes and said "I am sorry". And then I told them the good news ....I told them the Gospel. I told them Jesus loves us and keeps no list of our sins and that I would try to do better at loving them this way. I said I sure didn't want them to keep a list of all my sins against them....and a humbling thing happened. With little and confused faces they said they couldn't make a list because I was a good mommy. I am not writing this to brag on me or my kids- quite the opposite I write this from a humble heart. I am humbled at how Jesus forgives totally all of my mess and your mess. I am humbled with how children live this out day to day....they keep no record of wrongs. I am humbled at how much I need this lesson. You see after I had some time to think, and pray, I realized I was keeping their record of wrong...and other records of wrong for others and even myself.
Keeping records of wrong is dangerous. It can make a person feel entitlement, pride, anger, and fear. I am hanging on to some hurts, whether minor or big, that I am fearful of letting go. Keeping these gives me the false sense that I somehow control situations, or that I can keep hurt from happening again, or that I can cause a heart to repent. I can't do any of those things....all I can do is love and trust His perfect love. And perfect love keeps no record of wrongs. This mom is learning this today!
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